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Uncyclopedia


Clicky

Just a lot of weirdness. Post your favourite findings in this thread:

he Ten Commandments are found in the Bible, Mad Magazine and Hustler, although God owns the copyright. In the Bible they are recorded twice in the Pentateuch (Exodus 20, Deuteronomy 5, which means Exodus goes through to the next round).

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Penguinja, or Ninja Penguins, as they are commonly known, are some of the most secretive and stealthy ninja in existence. Some people claim that they don't exist, but that is only because Ninja Penguins are so good at hiding.


Wearing hoods to disguise their penguin-y appearance, they infiltrate your home while you're out and take up residence in your refrigerator, behind all the moldy leftovers that you're never going to eat. The next time you open your refrigerator, they leap out from behind the Tupperware and kill you using their secret Mad Ninja Skillz. No one knows why they do this. Do they want something belonging to their victim? Are they assassins, hired by an enemy of the victim's? Do they simply enjoy killing? Are they on a mission to eliminate people who don't clean out their refrigerators? It is a mystery which, sadly, shall probably remain forever unsolved, as most people who have seen a Ninja Penguin have not lived to tell the tale.



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The Mighty Big Fat Pie

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A breast is a small, furry animal that is invisible to the naked eye, being mostly ultraviolet in color, as such they are at all times covered by clothing and/or a device known as a Bra, which enables their viewing in the visible spectrum. In addition, this device makes a soothing ultrasound purr.


Breasts have nipples, which are tiny horns used for fighting. This why Men have nipples.


Important Stuff About Breasts

  • Breasts can be found all over the world. In Beverly Hills, they are kept in sterile containers until they can find homes in the chests of wealthy women.



  • Janet Jackson's breast was shown on national TV. It is unclear whether she has a second.


  • Breasts have indirectly been responsible for more global conflicts and wars than anything else in the world. They are also known to corrupt morals and subvert social values just by being seen.


  • Breast feeding has numerous advantages over bottle feeding such as:

    • The milk is always at the right temperature.
    • You won't forget to take the milk with you when you go out.
    • The cat can't get at the milk.
    • The milk is free.
    • The package is attractive.
    • There is always a spare in case you need one.
    • You don't need to mess around with baby formula powder and hot water.
    • There is no need to pour some milk in your wrist to see if it's hot enough.


  • Sometimes called knockers, though cunning linguists generally disagree on the etymology. Some believe they are so called because they knock together in a hypnotising way, others because tapping firmly on them is generally considered a polite way of getting someone's attention.


  • Another slang term, hooters, is now the name of a successful restaurant chain that sells spotted owl wings in hot sauce. Originally conceived as a restaurant where scantily-clad women with large breasts would serve beer, appetizers, beer, and beer, the owl-wing thingy was added later to avoid feminist picket lines over the name.


  • One breast said to the other breast, "You're a boob." Highly incensed, the second breast replied, "Oh, yeah? Well you're a tit!"

Also Known As

Baps, Bazookas, Bazoomies, Big Berthas, Blouse bunnies, Boobs, Boobies, Booblies, Bonkers, Bosom, Boulders, Bubbies, Bubbles, Bubs, Bust, Cans, Cantaloupes, Charlies, Chebs, Chest, Chi chis, Chubbies, Diddies, Dirty pillows, Dugs, Fun-bags, Gazongas, Globes, Grand Tetons, Guns, Headlight, Honkers, Hooters, Jahoobies, Jubblies, Jugs, Knockers, Love kegs, Lungs, Maguffies, Meat puppets, Melons, Milk wagons, Norks, Pair, Peaches, Plumpers, Puppies, Rack, Rampolenes, bon-bons, Sweater meat, Ta-tas, Teats, Thirty-eights, Tits, Titties, Twin mounds, Tweeters, Twin peaks, Twins, Tzatze, Udders, Woofer, tommy knockers, nipple wingers, ding-dongs, moose lickers, mary poppins.



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