Update

Hi, I’m Jamie Carruthers, I am suitable for outdoor consumption but prefer not to be outdoors, as my rectum would download porn of Zack's best friend and his dog which I find rather arousing. Now I may be a rather strange person, who enjoys masturbating against the wind so it splats onto my chest with great velocity. However, today, I have a sausage for big gay Staddon, who is piercing his tiny todger with a mechanical lesbianated seahorse dispenser, loaned from Ross. Staddon suddenly slips when he steps in kangaroo spunk. "Oooooh" he says with great pleasure, and proceeds to lick his tiny todger while taking a sheep up the creature's dentist to have an oral Examination, where he finds some rather unusual objects, of which look like a rather large Turnip.

Mean while, on mars a small penguin suddenly slaps Neil Armstrong’s lost carcass confusingly, because he never went to mars, but he got magically transferred to mars. “No don’t be silly” said a large cactus, during the winter Olympics, It is hosting. The comment it made was very interesting indeed, “it is Elvis!" he said in a very camp voice with a side salad of smelly syphilis flakes from his syphilis infected genitals.

He then went on to become a famous rock act that consisted entirely of a mongoose and a large right hand, which he used to massage his very large chicken breast engraved with a fish testicle tattoo of Staddon's oddly unique image. Incidentally, this event did not put shame to Jamie’s extremely small walnut covered tactical, due to the invading fascists that ate lots of tasty cream buns along with some rather strange 'lesbian Ted' dolls that are only $4.99 when you buy 3 super mega giga sized packs of fish family condoms from Jeremy's chemist.

I went to Hartlepool to buy some Hartlepooleans, but they were all dead, having eaten Staddon's personal supply of penis shaped confectionary made with 50% cocoa solids, 25% home made 'white stuff', and 25% shalak gratings.

Meanwhile, Ben's Aunt Marjory turned into jam. But in Swansea Edmund and Tubbs terrified the Spanish inquisition, who none expected to be so unusually tight fisted with their ice cream with which they did some lubricating because they couldn't fit their dog up someone else's Cats anus, Yet this seemed perfectly normal, if you’re feeling sinister. On the whole, everything was going like a big gay party that consisted of many staddons wearing leopard skin thongs which were specially imported from a small factory in the suburb of Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal and grapes are plentiful, yet scarce. Everyone had forgotten the giant penis of doom hanging
over the city of Paris ready to strike with a great blast of pure passion over the entire French population of dogs.

Elsewhere, some bacon which was taken from a panda's personal stash was used to create a 1/10-scale model of the Titanic, This Strange man was a penis of envy; a giant, swinging shalahk that no one understood, it was pretty fierce. Only Staddon knew the true strength of Gillette Mach 3 - he used the mighty power to shave off his manhairs which were growing into Ross' garden over the fence. Now this ice creams, or even chocolate or even chocolate milk, made by blender wielding banana hunters which were naked with their blenders, but they did have blenders and were not afraid to use them. They also lived in trees which were long and hard like long and hard things but not long and hard. They were wanted for fungus rape this was serious, yet stupid, because sex with bats is only good when you’re not having sex with rabies-infected ones. Jamie was doing this, which was a dastardly act, because they hated sandwiches and Haribo, then ate them just to be masochistic. Of course, they also made love to 3 fat hairy Albanian men who smelt of lemons and Watermelon Urine with a hint of monkey scrotum. This smell was one of epic Proportions, it alone had the power of fifteen farting Alsatians however, the aroma was strangely... Sexually arousing, but this aroma did not cause any arousing ness in monster who, usually, becomes heavy aroused by Sausages. This often causes him to give the evil eye to elderly pensioners who like Worthers originals whilst enjoying casual sex while watching a squirrel burying its nuts. Anyway Ross moved house to avoid the oncoming thong Tax which was hard on leopard-skin, because of this Ross couldn't easily eat Jamie's rather excellent pink spandex thong that was rather old and quite worn. Every time the Tax collectors came calling to repossess Jamie's tiny penis shaped thong went ‘missing’, probably to be examined by Wheatley, who had a fetish for examining Jamie's thongs under false pretences, pretending to be a concerned party. This was nasty, as it helped him to clone Jamie. The clones went in search of their ultimate leader, who was the great James Carruthers, he Waved his Large "magical" wand and squirted them with magic "Anus Thunder!" he screamed when his inflated anus went pop because he ate too many penis shaped turkeys, which are bad for the blood flow to and from the spleen. "Ow, my spleen!" Jamie screamed with great lust
and slight surprise, because he never knew he had a body capable of being pained in so many ways. He did remember, however, the pain was almost identical as when monster shoved a pineapple under his fingernail and poked his CD collection up his rather small and gay anal passage, now this is fairly wrong. However, it may be nice for Jamie in a gay anal kinda way, Jamie objected to the squirrels of doom trying To find some rather tasty nuts…

…Which were lodged between two…